More Q School Agony
Well, today went terrible. I shot a disgusting 82. I was a train wreck out there. The most angry I have ever been on a golf course in years. I couldn’t help but focus on all the negatives out there, it was painful.
I thought I was over my poor mind frame yesterday afternoon. Even on the range this morning I felt confident that it would be a good day.
The minute the gun went, and the pressure set in, all I could do was stumble. I have no excuses or explanations for why this has happened. I’m now left trying to put the pieces back together.
I feel so lost but at the same time more motivated than ever before.
This is like nothing I have ever been through in my life. Not just this tournament, but this entire year. It has been the most exciting and the most mentally demanding experience I can name. I’ve loved ever minute of it, but I’m also so frustrated with how the whole year beat me up pretty bad.
It seemed that every week I had to dig deep to pull the small positives from the mess of negatives. This is not the best thing in the world to do week after week. All the weeks of digging deep have come to a head this week. I though this week would have been much better, I’m now forced to dig deeper than ever before to rise from the disappointment of this week and year for that matter.
I’m so motivated to work so damn hard on getting out of this rut. All I want to do is compete. This has been my life long dream, and there’s no way I’ll let this rough year prove stronger than me.
I realize that I don’t have anything secured for 2009, and it’s scary. Having no schedule set will make it very difficult to find the finances to play next year; again, that’s very scary.
I plan on taking a few weeks off to recharge my batteries. After this small break, I plan on hitting the ground running. I got into a PGA monday qualifier on the 29th of Sept. I hope to prove my resilience there. After that, I would love to head down south and play as many tournaments as I can to gain experience and prepare myself for the Canadian Tour’s Q School in March.
I’m not going to let this week slow me down. I’m driven to go out tomorrow and prove to myself that I can still play and still focus on hitting good golf shots.
I have a goal set in place of the PGA Tour. I never expected this year to be so difficult, but that doesn’t change my goal. I’m going to react to this speed bump and keep working towards my dream.
