andrew scott jensen

I’m sitting here in the closest Starbucks I could find.  I have a feeling that these coffee shops will be my home away from home(or hotel) over the coming months.  I plan on coming here to look inside and try to put all my thoughts and emotions on page for you to read.

I started this blog to tell you what I am going through as a professional golfer. Its one thing to give updates on my day to day life on the road, but I feel more compelled to let people behind the scenes.  I want to let you know the emotional highs and lows that this experience will put me through.

So here goes…

One week into this journey I am yet to be ‘homesick’ but I’ve certainly had some rough patches.  The hardest thing is trying to wrap my mind around the distance and time between me and the people I love most.  I try not to think about, but sometimes it is inevitable and it is very depressing.  It gets hard when that depression and obvious loneliness forces me to look at my own life and my own heart and wonder if it will be strong enough to take this separation from familiarity.

Having so much time to myself is definitely a mixed blessing.  It forces me to reflect on everything imaginable; will I succeed? will that success change me? will it change my relationships? will I fail? will that failure change me or my relationships?

To be honest, it is not the failure that scares me.  Failure is safe and familiar and at times almost comforting.  Success is my biggest fear, it always has been and I am working on that through much prayer and reflection.  I realized this fear of mine a few years ago.  Thankfully God has done a great work in me since that realization and I am finally in a place where I am starting to embrace and even desire success more than failure.  That being said; it is still a work in progress, but I am ready for the challenge that this year will bring.

If this week is any indication, this year will be just as challenging for me spiritually as it will be for my golf game.  While typing this I realized something, no matter what happens this year and in the years to come; all the successes and failures, God won’t change.  If I am able to hold onto that truth this journey will be less and less frightening.